I know it's bad, but I psyche myself to believe that we lost the debate only minutes before they announce the results. I thought I wouldn't be too disappointed if we did lose, and still be estatic if we won. But, it doesn't make much difference. I was and still am dissapointed when they announced the winner and it wasn't us.
It's even more depressing to admit that we were so close to winning. If we had done certain things better, it would be a clear win. And it doesn't help to really believe that we should have won, because we gave it all we got and we knew that we were better. But we lost and that's a shame because it shouldn't be that way.
Maybe I'm just a sore loser in this sense. Maybe I see things through a rose-tinted glass. But, it's disturbing to take note that it's the second time this year, that I was really really close in not so much of making others proud of me, but to finally be able to have more confidence in my capabilities.
I lost my voice due to the cold after the 1st minute into my speech, but I held on and got my points across. And I sang "Creep by Radiohead" tonite during the afterparty of the championship dinner knowing that my voice could breakdown anytime. It did a little but I wouldn't stop halfway and somehow nobody seemed to notice it except for me.
Sure, I'll hold on.
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