True colors; Part 1

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http://web.tickle.com/color/

Try it out!

Yellow
You're yellow, the color of joy and energy — two things you definitely bring to everyone around you. It's hard for anyone to be sad or lonely in your presence; your sunny disposition and cheery outlook just won't allow it. The warmth of your personality shines through in the kindness you show friends and family (and strangers, too). Always ready with a lighthearted joke or heartfelt compliment, you know how to make people feel good about themselves, so they can't get enough of you. Yellow is a warm and inviting color for a warm and inviting person — you!

I already had the feeling that I was going to be this bright and sunshine loving chick. Yellow happens to be my favorite color too. So, no surprises.

It's all about the way you react to certain environments and situations. And it's all about choices. You choose how you want to behave. I know that if I want to I can always stay quiet instead of joining in the fun or laughing at the jokes. I can withdraw my self from the world and be the silent emo type not because I can do it but because I want to.

So how can you really tell what's the true you? Of course people are going to say that you can't pretend to be someone that you're not. Somehow you just going to reveal your true characters. But consider the fact that you behave differently in front of different sets of people. Compare and contrast the way you treat individual persons. Perhaps, some people receive the best of you and a lot receive bit and pieces of a puzzle that is never finished.

Lets analyze the relationships I have.

My parents.
I'm self-spoiled. With so many siblings, you learn to survive by making the effort to get their attention. They know me as their talkative and high-achieving daughter who seems to always be going about with new things to do like debate, drama and the photography projects, the jamming, community outreach programs etc. I treat my parents to the full knowledge of what goes on in my life always, well almost always. I'll go home and do a debrief with my parents on the interesting juicy things that happened while I was away, most of it with the intent to make them proud of their daughter's accomplishments and to convince them that despite my extra-curricular activities, I'm doing better than most.. at least that's what I want them to believe. Most of the stuff that I tell them are about things that made me upset and excited about and they always have this expression in their faces whenever I talk that tells me that they might be thinking 'when is this going to end?' Haha.. At least I've skipped the Q&A part.

My brothers and sisters.
The boys in the house think I'm selfish and self-centred and "what Ana wants Ana gets" is the correct phrase to use(but we know now that it's not true). My brothers and I have a great understanding that whatever they said remains in the room or the car or whatever. Everytime I come home, there's always something new that I'll find out from at least one of them that I can use for future teasing and blackmail. From the things that I tell them and I only tell them the things I want them to know, they believe that I'm just some shallow girl looking for the next cute fella to fall for and get heartbroken on. For the reasons that I'm their youngest sister, they are often very protective and treats me like I'm a kid more often than not, because honestly, I do behave like a kid cracking jokes with the ole fellas. I pity the guy who would be lucky enough to tangle himself up with me. Did I mention that I have 7 brothers? Yes SEVEN.

I rarely get to see my sisters, (1) Jannah's in UUM, (2) Kak Ita's married. But the opportunities that I get I'll put to good use. Jannah knows almost everything that goes on in my life because we love talking about trivial things. (Jan, if you're reading this, get ready for the truth.) She's crazy and fun and sometimes I find myself becoming the sober, matured and serious one just to keep ourselves in check. It's not that I wanna be the spoilsport in anything, it's just that you behave differently under a variety of circumstances. And with my sis, there's a limit.
Kak Ita and I occasionally have our girl talk, I bet she misses that more than me considering the fact that she's married with two kids and all. But, we do share some stuff, not much but just quite enough.

My nephews.
Their auntie Ana loves playing with them, she enjoys the play pretend perhaps even more than the kids. I love my nephews to bits and I love humoring them and seeing them looking so interested in the things that we do together, scribbling, playing the PS2, story telling, singing and dancing etc. I behave exactly as I would treat my preciousss.. Sometimes they'll be a lot to handle, in that case, I'll tag one of my brothers.
Nabil is learning fast, he can come up with the most challenging questions and difficult remarks.
"Nabil, jangan kocakkan air, habis basah semua."
"Tadi Ana buat!"
I must admit that it has been a long time since I've seen the little inflatable pool, just can't help splashing the water into their faces.

So, I've covered family, now lets move on to friends and acquaintances,

in Part 2..

Monday March 6, 2006

Big enough Little Ms. Ana

by ANH

SHAH ALAM: The future of the UiTM Debate Society looks burningly bright, as their trainer selected promising members to compete for the upcoming local and international debating tournaments.

Mr. Tubs said that in general, the competition for selecting the best from the many outstanding debaters was high. It had taken him more than the usual 30 minutes to decide on the rankings and team placement.

"The final debate was exceptional, all of the debaters performed well. They engaged with each other and gave excellent examples. It was probably one of the best debates we have had so far," he told debaters before announcing the results.

There was a new entrant to the big boys club, except this time it's not a boy. Little Ms. Ana has scored it big by proving to her peers and most importantly, the trainer that she has worked hard and is qualified to be in the first team.

She told reporters that it came as such a shock to her that the first thing that came out of her mouth was a word, which is unsuitable to be mentioned in the papers.

"I would like to thank my mom, my dad, my brothers, my sisters and my two adorable nephews for their continuing support. To my debate trainer, Tubs, my debate seniors, my friends for believing in me and pushing me to get my *ss going. With all the love in the world, I promise you all that I shall not let you down. Asians, Australs, Worlds, here I come." she said, adding that she looks forward to be working with her new team mates.

"I'm nervous and excited. Still can't believe that I'm with two of the best monkeys for debaters. They are pretty good fellas, really smart but really dumb*sses as well. It's going to be great," she remarked when asked if she was feeling the pressure of being in the dream team.

Perhaps, there is more to the future of the UiTM debate society than what meets the eye. We can only hope that the teams perform their very best and kick-ass along the way to the top.

Imagine reading that in your morning papers.

Jerry

I climbed the ladder propped up against the wall with careful ease. Each step gets me closer and closer to the stars, literally. I often spend hours on the roof—arms wrapping my gathered knees to keep myself warm—staring at the sky. I remembered the times whenever I was alone and Jerry would come climbing the ladder to keep me company.

The first time that he did it, I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It never occurred to me that he was capable of showing that much affection to actually brave the heights to be with me. Then again, perhaps that was just his nature.

From that night on, he was always there, listening to me talk about things that mattered so much to me then but are pointless to him. He didn’t understand me in the way that any other companion would at least try to, but he never turned me down. He was always there. And I love the fact that he wasn’t pretentious when we were together, he wasn’t questioning or demanding, and he would let me be all that I am.

I didn’t need him to take care of me, I never asked him to linger around, and I knew that I had no power over him but he stayed anyway. When I cried, he didn’t have to say anything at all to make me feel better; when he made me angry and I returned the feeling, we forgave each other and we forgot it instantly. We never kept a score; there wasn’t any point in that. We loved each other and it was such a joy to float in that kind of love.

When Jerry left, he died. And a part of me that clung to him died as well. I could not remember if I had actually cried. The feelings just went away; I let the hurt, the bitterness, the anger slipped in between my fingers like sands of time trickling in an hourglass. I guess I have let him go for good. Now all that is left are scattered snapshots of how lovely the stars slow danced in the midnight sky, and also the twinkle in Jerry’s cat's eyes.