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Philosophical cow dung on the life of little Ms. Imperfectly Fine.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Checklist 1

    List of things to blog about
    (In no particular order of importance)


  1. What actually happened in Langkawi and why I've been avoiding to comment on it apart from being too lazy.

  2. My more-than-a-week of working experience in KLIMS, promoting rims and the occasional modelling, plus a number of job offers.

  3. How I'm very disappointed with a no say in my debating career which could lead me to drop it anytime.

  4. Being a part of the biggest and grandest theater production of the education faculty, an original plus musical endeavor which obviously requires me to sing and dance.

  5. My love for motoGP and Valentino Rossi plus the craziest thing I did for him while I was in Kuantan that earned me a tan.

  6. Why I consider myself to sometimes be out of place, in addition to being a geek, a bookworm and musically inclined.

  7. On him (who else?) getting married and how I can definitely say that I have come to terms with it and have wrestled my demons long before I volunteered this info.

  8. The possibility of graduating later than my friends even with my good CGPA, just because of a juicy opportunity.

  9. Some guy.


Item no 4 is no longer valid. Since there is a possibility that I won't be doing the musical after all.

Item no 3 doesn't matter anymore. As much as I tell myself that I'm sick and tired of the problems that are part and parcel of debating, I can't run away from the fact that I love the spirit of it, the excitement of getting your points across and convincing people. And no amount of crappy happenings could really sway me off it in the end.

Item no 1

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Break nite!


So, I'm sure you're curious about what happened to Ms. Ana with the two boys in Langkawi or with anyone for that matter.

Here's the story.

We came, we debated, we lost.

I know being in the first team, the no 1 pressure would be to perform almost as equal to the seniors. But as I grew to learn from them, it's not about that at all, it's about keeping up and not letting the team down by not putting effort into it. And according to them, I didn't let them down in anyway.

"You might not be the best, but do your best."


With 7 wins out of 8 rounds, and breaking 3rd than last time's 6th. I guess, there is an improvement in that sense. Sad to say we lost because of one topic that we never actually talked about, a theme that we took for granted. Economics.

My knowledge of economics perhaps only extends to the buying and selling done between me and a salesperson. All this stuff about currency and market forces are quite unknown to me. Imagine our horror when we got the topic as the opposition "This house would buy dollars." :0

Being the opposition, there wasn't much we could do before entering the debate as we have to wait for the government's case first to react to it. As Danial gave his response, my respect for him grew, he can really pull it off. When he took his seat, he looked at me with this dazed faraway look on his face, "I don't know what the heck I was talking about." You sure looked you do, Dan. Wow!

Then Faiz's turn came and he was speaking with so much conviction that I was starting to really believe that we actually knew what we were talking about. And then, I gave my speech and it was just too crazy to describe.

When we received the verdict, we kinda knew it already. I wanted to see the speaker's score but I had to move with the team. It was only weeks afterwards that Ms. Salliza, my debate lecturer and friend, told me that I performed consistent with the team and for a person who doesn't know anything about economics, seem to put up a good show of it at least.

It was really close, lost by a 4-3 vote. And the scores were consistent, so it was a fair fight after all.

I must admit, I was feeling very very upset because I couldn't help but think that we lost because Hafiedz, who's a business student, wasn't in the team. Or else, they would have secured the cup. But, Faiz told me that it was a team effort, that one person cannot win the whole debate if two others suck big time. In a way, they are as much to be blamed for being seniors and not knowing their stuff. Sorry, guys.

Well, for Australs they will be reunited. I'm a tad bit disappointed that I don't get to debate with those two smarties but I understand Hafiedz's need to have the top team. He has a lot to prove being the seniors of all seniors. ;p I just hope that one day, I might have a chance to prove my worth as the so-called fast rising debater in the history of UiTM debating.

But, my new team is not that bad at all. I have Zharif and I've debated with him countless of times before and he's great. And there's Adiba, who I think is one of the strongest women debaters around. I'm looking forward to putting more effort into it by reading more and speaking more and be more confident at it.

Oh well.

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waiting for the match-ups

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Item no 6

I get misunderstood a lot. I don't know why, it could be my nature of being open yet not revealing. What they see might not necessarily be what they get. Just because I know stuff, doesn't mean I am an advocator. Just because I tend to be foolish at times, it doesn't mean I'm stupid and certainly not a stupid fool. Just because you think you've seen it all, doesn't mean you know who you're dealing with. Pardon me, if the latter sounds like a threat.

Regardless of their misconceptions, it had never been and hopefully will never be my intention to go out of my way, cracking my head just to prove anybody wrong. They would naturally discover that on their own. I remember my closest friends telling me that the first time they saw me, they thought I was some snobbish dumb 8!+[# who dyed her hair brown just so she could look smarter (figure of speech).

What other flatteries did they come up with? Oh, plenty! I'm an insane party-goer with a zest for some afterparty fun. Oh, I wish I am the life of the party, but the parties I go to are sometimes dead upon arrival and no amount of clever resuscitation on my part could change that. But if you let me inside a gig or a jam studio, well then I might show you some rock and roll after all.

And there's that I'm a spoiled-only-child-from-a-filthy-rich-family idea. Some parts are true, yes I'm a spoiled brat but my family is cleanly rich with laughter, joy and love that could never be bought with papers or plastics. At the end of the day, I consider myself to be very fortunate knowing that others see how happy I am with my life without certain luxuries.

I guess that's why I tend to feel out of place with strangers, like I'm not quite there. This deserves a deeper analysis of which would take more of my time so I'll just touch on the surface. My friends know that I'm not one to hang about that much in the day when I'm always rushing to be somewhere particularly, the library. Yes, I'm nerdy. A geek professionally. I eat books as a supplement.

And even afterwards, I don't make it a habit to go out and stay up late until the wee hours drinking coffee(I prefer tea). I do enjoy the company of my friends, but I don't mind being alone and do things on my own. And being my friends in the first place, they understand. I love to laugh and fool around and make jokes not out of meanness because even if the mean jokes are on me, I'd laugh anyway. The difference between what your friends think of you and what others might do, is that your friends took the time to understand by accepting you as you are and reserving their comments.

What irks me is the fact that we make instant judgement of people, great if its good but troublesome if we are quick to dismiss a person as no good just because of some tiny bits of info that might not be correct in the first place. The question is why do we allow ourselves to do it at all? How come we conclude other people based on our skewed first ideas on them instead of really getting to know one another?

I know I am guilty of that sometimes, but at least I'm willing to admit it. Imagine some people going on with their lives thinking that they are right about people all the time and denying themselves the pleasant surprise of knowing more than what meets the eye. These people are quick to criticize and discriminate, nitpicking on the smallest misconstrued details and make a complete background analysis on them.

And to think that they can just be frank and ask. "Hey, are you a voracious nymphomaniac bent on taking over the world?" Um.. no. But I can be whatever you want me to be, honey. ;p

My point is, it's so easy to be wrong about someone, but that doesn't mean it's difficult to find out the real deal. Give yourself a chance by giving other people their chance. Who knows, you might get to meet a voracious nymphomaniac after all.

As for me, I'll always try to keep my eyes close and my heart open.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Things to write about


"Don't worry about me, honey. I'm doing great."


What is it with having a list of things (or names) to do? Jotting down an ordered array of items, names or topics perhaps should be left to the organized, which means I can be excluded in that. However, since I haven't been writing anything substantive (oh, please humor me just this once) in a long time, a) I've been very busy with KLIMS b) no extra-effort on my part to get cracking, I found out that maybe it's time to organize certain aspects of my life. So, I took a pen and started to write;

List of things to blog about
(In no particular order of importance)

1) What actually happened in Langkawi and why I've been avoiding to comment on it apart from being too lazy.
2) My more-than-a-week of working experience in KLIMS, promoting rims and the occasional modelling, plus a number of job offers.
3) How I'm very disappointed with a no say in my debating career which could lead me to drop it anytime.
4) Being a part of the biggest and grandest theater production of the education faculty, an original plus musical endeavor which obviously requires me to sing and dance.
5) My love for motoGP and Valentino Rossi plus the craziest thing I did for him while I was in Kuantan that earned me a tan.
6) Why I consider myself to sometimes be out of place, in addition to being a geek, a bookworm and musically inclined.
7) On him (who else?) getting married and how I can definitely say that I have come to terms with it and have wrestled my demons long before I volunteered this info.
8) The possibility of graduating later than my friends even with my good CGPA, just because of a juicy opportunity.
9) Some guy.


So, there's my checklist for the time being. I'm hoping that now I've got it written neatly somewhere I won't forget to write about it. It seems easier now that I've got it figured out, I just have to find the time and patience to see it through, like every other thing I do.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

ex-team mates



It was fun while it lasted. I won't be debating with them anymore now that I'm with another team for Australs. I'm in no mood to elaborate on this at the moment. But, I will eventually.