Overdue

Stratford-upon-Avon

I have a very close friend that I care about a lot. But it seems that he doesn't think that I care about him enough. I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been a good friend. There's no valid excuse, maybe I'm just not a good friend to begin with.

I used to have the biggest crush on him, but my girlish silliness went away when I realize that it was just that, a crush. But somehow, I'm thankful because as I grew up and so many things happened in between, I came to realize that what I feel for him now is worth more than the stars and the moon put together. How do you explain the love you have for your best friend? You can't, you just do.

I know 'he's just a friend' is way overused. But, somehow that's just it. I'm sorry. I can't give more to the relationship than what I already have. And that's also not an excuse for my part. Yet, I didn't lie when I said he was special, he still is.

Would it be easier if I tell him that I don't want things to change, I'm selfish and I want him to always be there for me regardless of who he's with and who I'm with, I just want that special bond that we have to always be. I want us to one day look back and laugh at how foolish we were to blow it out of proportion.

So, what have I done wrong here? What hope was there to give when maybe there shouldn't have been any in the first place? Am I cruel for being misguided and confused? Wouldn't it be simple just to accept it as it is, that I don't know? I didn't know what I was doing then, do I actually know what I'm doing now? Of course not and that's just how it's going to be.

I'm sorry but I really have no excuse and I don't think I'll ever know the answers except that things happen because we allow them to become. I guess that was long overdue.

Sepetik Telunjuk 01042006

The gallery

Last Saturday was the opening night for the experimental photography exhibition by a few of my photographer friends. The crowd was really encouraging since it was the first time ever for something like it to be organized. I am so proud of them. It was fun, a few of my friends came which made it all the more memorable.

Amir was the first one to come, we went from one photo to another, playing a game of, "Lets put a caption to this one!" It was hilarious. There was this one morbid pic of a girl lying helplessly on the floor, arms outstretched. Amir said,

"Damn, I should not have played futsal last night."

A funnier thing happened, we were looking at this photo of me and were commenting on the fact that even though people won't recognize me because I look so different, they are going to see my bracelets. Yeah, I wore them for every single picture. And we were laughing about some joke when suddenly we heard a voice right behind us.

"Eh, Ana lah ni. Ni Ana!"

Amir and I looked at one another and slowly we turned.

"Eh, Ana!"

My juniors from uni came to the exhibition. I was really impressed with this whole idea of 6degrees and what not. The night was halfly spent on avoiding suspicious glances from people. Like, macam ku kenal muka ni, tapi dimana ya?

And then abg Ahmad came with his sister and her friend, he managed to squeeze some 15 minutes of fame by joining the didjeridoo. Being the expert guitarist that he is, didn't find it such a problem to join in the music. Man, he's that good. He could make an alternative song easily.

They had to leave early, so later found me singing with Amir playing the guitar like there's no care in the world. It was great, it felt great, I should do it more often. By then, the crowds were shrinking so it didn't make any difference if I was making a fool out myself. Then Amir had to leave so I went and joined the others.

Justynn stopped by, took a look at her photo and instantly decided to buy it. Congratulations Pek Thong, you have one buyer! Hehe.. She didn't stay long since she's taking extra care of her health and should be sleeping early. So, the gang and I went for supper in the concrete garden at the corner end of the gallery.

All of us were seated around the table, eating ubi and pulut with ikan masin courtesy of Naim's mom. Best giler! Sorry guys, no more teka-teki from me. It was great to be able to sit down and just laze around after perhaps a hard day's work. I feel so honored to be a part of the exhibition, even though I didn't do much other than struck a pose.. a few poses.. a lot of poses.

Anyway, I will be going there again this weekend. I know, Little Ms. Vain is no longer a suspicion.

The gang.

Check this out!

TODAY! sepetiktelunjuk 1st-15th April



Please come and bring your friends along! See you later, seriously.