Thanks, h for Husni for suggesting the letter.
hon·es·ty [ónnəstee]
(
plural hon·es·ties)
noun
| 1. | moral uprightness: the quality, condition, or characteristic of being fair, truthful, and morally upright |
| 2. | truthfulness: truthfulness, candor, or sincerity In all honesty, I really didn't know. |
| 3. | plant: a hardy plant with flat silvery seed pods that are often used for indoor decoration. Flowers: purplish or white. Native to: Europe.
Latin name: Lunaria annua |
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It's rare these days to find people who are able to exercise honesty to its fullest. Even the simplest act of being honest with oneself is a rarity to some people. As for me, I've always tried to be truthful, at the very least in regards to what matters and what would matter to me and to the people that I care about.
This blog here is an example of such effort to stay in touch with this principle. I know for a fact that not only does this blog is being read by my beloved siblings and dearest friends, occasional and random strangers are open to view, read and hopefully understand my thoughts and biased opinions on things. It's something that I hope I would be able to keep up for it's true that this is a therapeutic process.
Supposedly, being honest should be the easiest thing to do. Just don't lie or pretend. But, I believe it's rather more complicated than that. One can not lie and still be dishonest. The mere act of withholding information or simply not telling could be considered a sneaky way of not being sincere or open.
But what happens if some people that one associates with could not handle the truth? Should one continue with not revealing such truth that would hurt them? What about the mere understanding of truth between two people without having to speak it out or put a voice to it? Should one speak up assuming that it's the right thing to do and risking the kind of comfortable silence they have acquired? And what if there's nothing to talk about or no truth worth sharing? Should one force it anyway?
And this is me being honest.
There's only one person on this entire universe that I am able to be as brutally honest as I am. And that person knows it too. With him, I am the clearest and bluest sky with no room for dark clouds. He's my moon, my drug, wearing a piece of my soul.
But to the rest; I'm afraid I cannot offer any apologies since I'm unable to feel sorry for the inability to share it all, to include you in everything. Suppose it's my character flaw. The only thing I can guarantee you is the honesty in this blog and the honesty in my songs. I suppose that's partly the reason why I am shy about my music, for all of them are written from my personal experience with a special story or intention tied to them.
Please don't get me wrong, it's not that I am unable to be honest as a whole in person. I am being honest with myself in the fact that this is what I want. I prefer to choose the kind of honesty, or in other words, the parts of me that is worth sharing, and push aside the unnecessary. And I've always appreciate such and the understanding from those around me.
Come to think of it, I guess I'm partly responsible for making honesty a little complicated. But, I suppose that's just me. ;p
I cannot resist the call of sushi. Even though I'm full from lunching with a full plate of rice and the usual favorites (ikan keli goreng garing and gulai masak lemak cili padi), given the opportunity to eat sushi, I'd grab at it with an open mouth.
Eating heavy food like a piece of steak would require deft skills and patience with the cutlery. The chiming sounds I make occasionally while devouring the meat is horribly annoying. On the other hand, I find eating rice with dishes using fork and spoon diminishes its homely appeal. I always prefer eating food with my (constantly clean in an almost OCD style) hand as it provides a more fulfilling multi-sensory experience, as well as the chance of being romanticized as unsophisticated and barbaric by my western friends.
But there is no conflict when it comes to sushi. I'm most comfortable with it. I could never resist the delightfully simple and unpretentious taste of the kanikama maki (crabstick). And I can pick up a big piece of tuna-mayo (another favorite although I had never seen or eaten one while I was in Tokyo) and it'll disappear into my mouth in one go. I probably would scare off guys with my whole-some approach to food, but who needs 'em anyway when you have the good stuff.
