Mulder and Scully

I am not one of those who bottle their emotions. But that doesn't mean I easily allow people access to my thoughts. It's stratified screening, those I'm closest to can consider themselves privileged. So that leads to the question of this blog. Where do I draw the line in writing about stuff that may be too personal?

Most of the stuff I had written are stuff I want to talk about, mundane things of which perhaps only the curious wouldn't mind knowing. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. So the selected minority, i.e. my closest friends, suffer more for the fact that they are not curious about me and therefore obtain the more explicit content.

I never had a clear objective in writing for this blog. I just think too much and so decided I might as well document it in the hopes of making sense of it all. It proves to be working, I'm becoming more sensible in fact.

For instance, as much as I want to prove certain individuals wrong on their preconceived notions of a platonic relationship, I know I won't be able to do that by simply telling it straight to their faces. (yeah, I know I'm turning yellow starting from my nose) So I write not so much for them, but for my personal satisfaction of knowing that I understand.

It's either you have it or you don't and whether you want it or you won't. Simple eh?

If only.

What is a platonic relationship? A friendship based on trust, respect and understanding, free from physical desire. Putting it in context, Mulder and Scully.

So what makes this kind of relationship worth talking about in this blog. Easy, it makes up a large percentage of my interaction with members of the opposite sex. Yes, I am not shallow, I do believe that men are good if not better for stuff apart from anything sexual.

Often I think about my platonic relationships with oh so many wonderful guys. We tend to establish lasting friendship just because we are able to talk about things others would unintentionally leave out. Shared thoughts, differing ideas, the comfort of knowing that somehow someone accepts your opinion.

You don't expect anything more than that. You learn to appreciate it as beyond the ordinary guy and gal partnership. And no amount of romance could ever replace a sturdy shoulder to rest your head on, or a strong grip of the hand to pull you back up.

So I have more platonic relationships than I have fingers to count them with. And whomever say that it's bad has either no experience on the beauty of it, or just plain egoistical to admit defeat in the area of romance.

desidero sapere

http://palancut.deviantart.com/

Penso che sia insano. Non conosco che cosa è errato con me. A volte, ritengo benissimo. Ma occasionalmente, desidero appena gridare. Non posso contribuire a pensare che forse qualcosa manchi. Qualcosa non è di destra. Provi mentre io potrebbe, non posso calcolarlo appena fuori.

Allora ancora, penso che sappia. Non sono soddisfatto con che cosa ha detto. La spiegazione era troppo semplice, troppo facile come se non fosse importante affatto. Perchè non possiamo rendergli il lavoro? Perchè non possiamo provare a superare gli ostacoli? Ha detto che è per il la cosa migliore. Chi è lui per conoscere quello?

So che devo essere ragionevole. Ma non ha appena il significato. È o voi lo ha o non. Ho una sensibilità che se lo lascio appena andare, io non potrà mai cambiare idea più. So che non accadrà mai.

È un pity.

La storia sta ripetendosi? Sensibilità del ritrovamento io stesso quasi, ma non abbastanza, il senso io ero prima.

train of thoughts

Questions I would like to have answered.

1. Why does it have to be that way?

2. Why can't it be the way I want?

3. Why can't I just let it go?

4. Why do I have to let it be?

5. Why can't it work?

6. Why does it have to fail?

7. Why can't it just be the way it was?

8. Why do I have to accept it as it is?

9. Why do I need to prove it right?

10. Why can't I prove it wrong?

11. Why does it feel so hard to be sure?

12. Why can't I be sure?

13. Why do I have to feel bad about it?

14. Why do I have a bad feeling about it?

15. Why do I have so many questions?

16. Why can't I have the all the answers?

Thoughts that often nag in my head, to keep me occupied while getting on with my life. In the hopes of taking the train of thoughts to somewhere, anywhere.