head games

The probability of you falling for me is zero or one. If I'm into sadomasochistic head games then what we're doing is sooo much fun. Every time you're around, I can't move away. I'll be there still. I'll find myself fall for you, again and again, crushing my will.

I am a mess. I am depressed from missing you like I do. I am distressed. I am obsessed with making you want me too.

The possibility of me letting you leave is rather far-fetched. If you're into sadomasochistic head games then you should know that we're perfectly matched. Every time you turned me down, I won't walk away, despite your goodwill. You'll find your self worth sucked dry, again and again. Enjoy the thrill.

I am a mess. I am depressed from missing you like I do. I am distressed. I am obsessed with making you want me too.

This doesn't make sense. I'm already dense from figuring you out like I do. I am a mess. I am obsessed with wanting you.

Words and music by Ana Raffali (anaraffali muzik ent.)

UPDATED : 26/2/08

Little Things That Keep Me Happy 1

Apart from making music and playing the guitar. There are a number of things I love to do that keep me sane and happy.

1) Eating out with close friends

I asked a guy that I kinda like out for ice-cream the other day. He turned me down. It was the first time that I actually had the nerve to ask someone I didn't know that well but liked out for anything. I mean he was being polite and all and saying that he had a lot of things to do before he had to leave the country for a couple of weeks on that particular day that I asked him. But, honestly, I was mightily disappointed. Promised myself never to do it again, ever. Funnily, he sorted out the problem by saying that he would ask me out when he returns. It should be a relief.

But, I was still kinda disappointed. So, I decided on food therapy. I went to Sushi King with two of my good pals. Man, it was reeaaallly good. I totally forgot about what I was so upset about and had an awesome time catching up on stuff since I've been away from the two for quite some time. Icky's my band mate and he's been busy with a play while Faizah's my roomie and she's been doing her practicum teaching near her hometown. I didn't get to eat ice-cream anyway but we played a little game with a watermelon sherbet. Each of us had to share the latest juicy news before eating a spoonful of the gloriously rich delicious sherbet.


2) Playing with my nephews

I went out with my brother to get something special for our nephews. That something special was a box of oil pastels (48 colors) and two sketchbooks. My nephews are kinda banned from buying or getting toys for any occasion since they have tonnes of that already. And knowing that 4 year old Nabil is developing an interest in drawing and 3 year old Aidil, an interest in anything that interests his brother, it was only natural for us to get them something like that. I mean, the idea was mine really. I've always been a fan of oil pastels although I could not draw anything decent at all. And to acquire a box of oil pastels with as many colors as was marketable and possible, was a childhood dream come true.


So Auntie Ana became the dreamcolor master. To see the look of delight in my nephews' faces was simply wonderful. I sat with them as they draw and gave suggestions as to which color to use. I am rather impressed with Nabil's progress, if you have read a previous entry about him drawing you would know that he has grown a lot in terms of his ability to compose a picture. And it really makes me feel so proud to see my influence in the way he draws the dead tree. He was rather proud of it too.

Top 10 Favorites

Songs with yummy voices

1. Matthew Bellamy (MUSE) - Falling Away with You
2. Mathieu Bauer - Again
3. Ken Christianson - Pornographic Audio
4. JR Richards (Dishwalla) - Surrender the Crown
   
5. Daniel Johns (silverchair) - Reflections of A Sound
6. Even Johansen (Magnet) - Nothing Hurts Now
7. Jason Mraz - Mr. Curiosity
8. John Mayer - 3x5
9. Damien Rice - Cannonball
10. Thom Yorke (Radiohead) - All I Need

How I envy those girls who get to listen to these voices every single day..

This is (a new song)

This is
not bizarre.
It's just is
like some things are.

Take your empty hand
and fill it with mine.
And every other thing
will be just fine.

cuz

This is
what we need.
Not a promise
but proof of creed.

Take your childish dreams
and share it with me.
And every single thing
we'll make them be.

cuz

This is what I want
This is what I need from you
I want what I want
I want what I need, it's you.

Take my hungry mouth
and feed it with your love.
And every other thing
will be enough.

cuz

This is what I want
This is what I need from you
I want what I want
I want what I need, it's you.

Words and music by Ana Raffali (anaraffali muzik ent.)

Music Weekend

A weekend of music. Being sick has never been more fun.

I had a terrible flu on Saturday. Had to miss a gig I was really looking forward on. Once I was feeling a little better, I decided to meet up my jamming friends for some music therapy. I dragged Jannah along who was only too happy to accompany me.

But we didn't get to jam anyway since we couldn't get hold of my guitarist. So Jannah and I along with my friend Islah went to the Curve instead. There wasn't anything special going on but we kinda made it special by hanging out by the walkway and playing the guitar like nobody's business. I played a few songs, Islah played a few songs, but the best part was when he showed me some tricks on the guitar. It dawned on me that I might end up like the female version of John Mayer if I really set my heart on it. ;p

I bought my first guitar in December of 2003. I remembered that it was raining when we stubbornly marched our way to the store that sells guitars, Faizah and I. You see, we made a deal that since I was too poor to afford a guitar on my own, Faizah was willing to chip in her money for joint custody. She kept the receipt for some time until I was able to pay her back in full. With our limited knowledge on guitars, we picked based upon what looked good to us. So we got fortie6, an inexpensive blue acoustic Omeya guitar with a cutaway.

I didn't have anybody that could teach me how to play so I acquired the basic knowledge of chords through books on my own. I was frustrated with trying to play other people's songs and failing miserably so I ended up writing my own songs so I could play the guitar anyway. I understand now that my inability and impatience in learning other songs impede on the development of my guitar playing skills.

But I wasn't really passionate about guitars or singing. I do it occasionally, jamming as often as I could, juggling it with other activities like debating and school. And it wasn't until I went to Japan that I rediscovered my passion for music.

I bought my second guitar, Johney Honey after watching a John Mayer concert in Ebisu Hall in Tokyo. I was inspired to play again not so much by Mr. Mayer but really through having Japanese friends who are really passionate about music and would bring their guitars along wherever they go and play them whenever they can. And of course, there was Jeff, my lecturer as well as guitar hero who taught me a lot and moved me to sing my heart out.

Top this with a certain muse that came into play around the same time and I became everything that I am now. Just a girl in love with her guitar, wishing that she could express her thoughts and ideas and wicked dreams to those who are willing to listen and be inspired. I am grateful to be surrounded by people who shares the same love and ideas as I do when it comes to music. Even more when they are able to inspire me.

MySpace Music

Well, I was going to sign-up sooner or later.

Ana Raffali on MySpace