Philosophical cow dung on the life of little Ms. Imperfectly Fine.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Dearest Drug

My dearest Drug,

I think I am developing a psychological dependence on you. I believe that you are necessary to maintain my feelings of comfort, awareness, pleasure and well being. At times, I find myself craving you and your rewarding qualities. I want my senses to be altered, my anxiety to be reduced, to have insightful experiences, to be intoxicated, a distortion of my senses, my perceptions and euphoria to be increased, a sense of calmness, lower inhibitions. I would always say; you felt good, I want to feel you again, I remember exactly how you felt. I have lost control over this feeling, I am addicted.

The more I am accustomed to you, the more I need you to get my desired effect. I used to need so little if not any at all, now all I want is for you to constantly swim in my bloodstream. This has fueled a violent urge to always have a need of you. I have tried stopping. I have the common withdrawal symptoms; depression, anxiety, paranoia, boredom and sadly, the inability to feel pleasure.

And before long, the urge to have you again becomes intense. Compulsive use; as long as you are available, I will undoubtedly turn to you. I can never say no to you. Loss of control; once I have had you, I will keep on it until I am exhausted or you are gone. Disregarding consequences; I don’t care if my cat gets fed, my studies are jeopardized, my mother disapproves, or my health is ruined, I would want you anyway. So my Dearest Drug, may I have some of you now?