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Philosophical cow dung on the life of little Ms. Imperfectly Fine.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Don't want to wake up


Until I Wake Up
by Dishwalla
album: And You Think You Know What Life's About (1998)

I rest my head
Between the bed and sky
Download my dread
Disarm my mind, make it dry

Nothing in motion, and I’m satisfied
No disappointment, until I wake up
Don’t want to wake up

Into clear space
Vivid vision, see her shape
At my bedside, beam up my mind please

Nothing in motion, and I’m satisfied
No disappointment, until I wake up

Nothing in motion, and I’m satisfied
No disappointment, until I wake up
Don’t want to wake up

Nothing in motion, and I’m satisfied
No disappointment, until I wake up

Nothing in motion, and I’m satisfied
No disappointment, until I wake up
Don’t want to wake up
Don’t want to wake up, no
Don’t want to wake up, no

Don’t want to wake up


Click here for the closest link to hear the song.

I look forward to getting to bed each night. My ritualistic actions. Brushing my teeth, washing my face, putting moisturiser on my lips, setting the alarm, snuggling with my blue blanket, closing my eyes. Such predictability is comforting. I know myself and that knowledge is enough.

Even if the last thing on my thought would be you, I know it doesn't have to be that way anymore. It would be a lie to say that I've stopped caring altogther. The fact is I do, so much but it gets little as time goes by and life goes on. I wish it didn't have to be that way though. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up with the pain all gone. All the hurt and all the blame magically gone in one swift blow, out goes the candle burning hate. But it flickers on, mocking me.

That's why sometimes, I don't want to wake up. Because in my sleep I won't think of you, I won't think of the pain of thinking of you. No more disappointment, no more confusion. Because in my dreams you don't exist. In my dreams we never were. In my dreams, all I feel for you is indifference. In my dreams..